Eating pumpkin pie at 2:00AM isn’t that special, but sharing a bite of that pie with your dog can be. Lucy enjoyed, and I enjoyed. Peace of the late, lonely hours.

There’s a car I don’t recognize out in the driveway. I don’t really pay it much attention but I think on it a bit.

Stood in the kitchen, I was trying to find something to eat. But is someone here? I knew Elena was getting Dairy Queen with friends, but I didn’t think they’d be back here, and not that late.

I checked my texts as I opened the fridge, I guess Mia’s friend Gabby is spending the night. Lucy walked over to me, watching me browse the contents. Patiently. So I shared what I chose.

Went upstairs after finishing up, and somehow Lucy squeezed through the tiny space in the dog gate to follow me to my room. Must’ve stood there considering it, because she came up 30 seconds behind me. I chugged the rest of my water. She’d just laid herself out on the ground.

Usually if she comes up she might jump in bed, but this doesn’t seem like she wants to stay. She guided me back out of my room, waited for me to follow. Down the stairs to the front door.

Oh, I guess she needed to go outside at 3:00AM. Defecate? Urinate? Or did she hide something and is going out to dig it up since she knows Lottie is asleep?

I left the door open so I could hear when she’d come back, and soon enough I hear her trotting back to the door.

As soon as I walk over and open the door some more she darts inside quick from the cold. Was 16° out, fair enough. Still, she seems to want something.

Followed me back upstairs, squeezing her way quickly through the gap as I opened it for myself.

I put out some blankets for her to sleep on in my room, but this time around, she actually does hop into my bed. With little prompting.

Ever have those moments where your room smells new to you, as if you somehow got unfamiliar with the scent of your own sheets? I experienced that, and it’s good to know at least it’s not necessarily a bad scent but is it a good scent? Not really a fresh scent. I should have just washed my bedding. Our dryer still hadn’t been fixed when I’d noticed.

Eventually she did hop off the bed, down to the blankets I laid out. Preferred honestly, I sleep on a twin mattress and I like being able to adjust and move around. She’s a big enough dog that she gets in the way, and she’s stubborn once she gets comfortable. I’m glad she still wanted to stay in here with me though, I love her.

Looking at the darkness behind my eyelids, laying on my back. I was thinking of what I could do tomorrow. About writing, and making. So now I’m writing about writing, I’m reflecting on writing and what to write about.

Then I hear a licking sound.

I looked up to my fan spinning in the dark. It’s old, rattling. My noise machine. I’ve had it since we moved here basically, more than a decade. Maybe it’s in my head, the licking sound isn’t Lucy. It’s the fan shaking. Worsened gradually over time but I’d never noticed a sound like that.

I sat up, and she’s licking her paws. I heard correctly.

Do I set a precedent of needing to do one of these journals a day? I don’t think I want to do that. But at the same time, I’d like to remember everything. Middle ground could be that I still write about events of each day, but don’t necessarily need to publish it that very same day. Or go into insane moment-by-moment depth.

Fell asleep, and slept too long. Didn’t wake up until 12:45PM, but I was deep dreaming again. I have a slight remembrance of one portion of a dream I was having, and it was honestly really horrible, shocking and gross.

Continue at your own risk, I’d label it “anatomical body-horror.”

Peeing Pinocchio Dream

Can’t remember the full context at all, but basically while standing at the toilet peeing, I got an erection but my penis kept extending outward like Pinocchio’s nose! Length that wasn’t completely out of my control quite yet, but far exceeding normal length while maintaining my typical width.

Well, I should say for the most part it was this way. Some sections of the shaft were different varying widths, uneven along the whole. And it felt real?? Like it felt as if this was a real body part and I had these sensations. Quite scary to be honest, and I was worried I would have to keep that my whole life.

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Anyway, I went downstairs and made a sandwich and then I soaked in the bath. I didn’t have concrete plans for today, so I had to figure something out. And I didn’t feel like sitting around. Yet, heading to my mini studio setup to take photos wasn’t really viable given it’s so late in the day and the roads weren’t really all that great. So I went out on a drive through town in hopes of maybe having something distract me, or take hold of my curiosity.

I have been enjoying a new album dropped by Otto Benson, Peanut. He dropped it as the new year came around, and it gives me the same vibes as another release by him, Songs Before Bed. I’d like to check out a lot of his other albums, I saw on his website there’s tons released I’ve never taken time to hear. And they’re free downloads.

But I listened, driving through the snow. My favorite track right now is Soy Beans, but for some reason in the YouTube posting of the album the track is called Tide Pools. Both work for the name I guess, I wonder what the thought process was behind that. Red and Neon is also a top track for me.

But I didn’t end up getting up to much. Had trouble feeling focused, and I still feel the same way. I don’t mind having a day where I just rest, not force myself into things. But I enjoy being in the flow as well, getting things done. Figured I should try and do some sort of creative work, produce something.

As I pulled back into my driveway, the appliance repair guy drove down slowly behind me. Our dryer would finally be fixed hopefully.

Something I realize about myself is that when I share my work, or I create something that I’m really proud of I don’t have the wherewithal to dive immediately back into creating again within the same exact format. I jump from different mediums, and to some degree this is helpful but there’s surely a lack of structure.

Maybe if I posted to audiences where there’s more of a permanent position for viewing, this would seem to be more productive, instrumental. Not all pieces have to be instrumental, functional, but I do have goals in terms of desiring my art gets an audience.

For my own affirmation? To put more good into the world? I’m battling between these two positions. Need to focus on putting good into the world instead of creating to take, to gain attention basically.

I had all this expressive flow on my mind, so I sat down and decided on the goals I’d aim for this month. Only said I’d write out five, but instead I wrote out seven for the month of January, which are the following:

• Gather finished pieces, photography, and reworkable projects to use
• Create a content calendar going three months out beginning in February
• Post daily Instagram stories, simple or not while building content reserve
• Record one audio journal per week to post to YouTube channel podcasts tab
• Respond to PI.FYI prompts, at least one a day
• Create one new finished piece of media to post per week
• Repost a piece of art from another creator twice per week

After that, I kind of wrote out my artistic vision and all that, or I don’t know what to call it. Platforms I’d release to. Everything I have in my tool box. Stylistic choices I want to use as a guidelines.

Material language, motifs, arrangement, use of space. Atmosphere, emotional register, conceptual axis. Barely know what it all means, so not sure if I did it right.

I put those goals I made along with a table of format ideas in a document and printed it out to tape to my wall, so I can look at it and decide what to make on a given day.

Well, there it is, wasn’t entirely a useless day. My diet has consisted mostly of biscuits and Doritos today, and I feel like shit. Need to drink more water too.

Going forward, along with a content calendar I might write out an actual social media strategy, but I need a better idea of what content I have as my base first. I do that by reviewing everything I’ve made, dividing what I’m willing to bring into this reorganization of image and formal release, and execute.

And to ensure I meet those goals, I might make a calendar with weekly and daily checkboxes tomorrow to ensure I actually stay in line.

Day’s basically over now, gonna listen to Peanut again and drift away into whatever. Watch Avatar: The Last Airbender with my younger sisters.

See you next time.

-Liam A. Reese

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